December 2009
1 post
December 1, 2009
Today is AIDS day. It is also the beginning of the end of a decade. It is hard to fathom both. AIDS still has no cure, and another decade has passed.
In my own life, I ponder what my purpose is at this point. I write, read, listen to the news, enjoy visits from my son, but something seems to be missing. I think of the war in Afghanistan, the political conflict between Pakistan and India...
November 2009
3 posts
Emerald
As I gaze into sleep, I no longer exist. A story told in patterns of memory in a dream, A kaleidoscope of blues, greens and endless sky. The story of a face once known, But never known enough.
Lush Gardenia and wild, mushroomed hills, Memory of oceans, rivers, and humid love, The weathered, wooden dock of a night fishing village, Held us as we were bathed by the stars.
Brilliant constellations...
All Things Honky-Tonk And The Acacia Tree
Today has already been eventful. After yoga and meditation this morning and a final blast of mental affliction stamped into my private, hand-written journal, I walked to the convenience store because now I want to read from library books I have borrowed and am out of Chai Tea. What will become of this luscious, lecherous habit.
I’ve got my green cloth, re-useable grocery bag that announces...
Adventures In On-line Dating
Because I am feeling better these days—basically recovered from a serious illness— I thought, why not turn my attention toward that other gender. Since I do not have opportunity to meet men in real life, I thought I would try the virtual world—online dating.
It isn’t that much different from real life dating: one still has to kiss a lot of frogs. Though I state in my...
October 2009
3 posts
Fear Of Dying
I experienced the fear of dying in my dreams last night. The feeling has stayed with me today. The feeling is sheer terror.
I summoned my son and his father so that I could instruct them regarding my living will, gave them keys to my apartment, told them to take care of the dogs and cats, gave them the pin #s to my two bank accounts, and keys to my car.
Then I went to the hospital and began...
Last Night's Dream
It’s not always easy to let go of someone you love. I dreamed of a previous lover last night. He and I were young in my dream, the way we were when we were together. I was at one of his ball games, watching him shine the way he did and feeling left behind when a team of young women came onto the field to play against his team.
He laughed and smiled his handsome smile while he and the...
A Father's Daughter
I’ve been dreaming about my father a lot these days. He died 23 years ago. In the dream, he was quiet and so was I, much as we both were in real life. In the dream, we sang a couple of songs he used to sing when I was a child and adolescent—Irish Limericks sung instead of recited. There he was, in my dream, driving a station wagon, which in reality he never owned for himself. He did,...