It’s not always easy to let go of someone you love.  I dreamed of a previous lover last night.  He and I were young in my dream, the way we were when we were together.  I was at one of his ball games, watching him shine the way he did and feeling left behind when a team of young women came onto the field to play against his team.

He laughed and smiled his handsome smile while he and the boys sparred with this team of young women.  I felt sad as I watched and decided to leave.  I knew he would not notice. 

Later, I was in a room watching a movie in which he was one of the actors.  I heard a knock on the door and knew it was him, but I said “who is it” anyway.  He knew that I knew and said, “open the door”.

I immediately let him know I was watching one of the movies he acted in, and he looked at the television and then at me and took me in his arms without saying anything.  I let my body melt into his.  We held each other feeling each other breathe.  I caressed his chest and struggled to speak, but I could not.  It felt like goodbye.

I can still feel that closeness and letting go today.