I experienced the fear of dying in my dreams last night.  The feeling has stayed with me today.  The feeling is sheer terror. 

I summoned my son and his father so that I could instruct them regarding my living will, gave them keys to my apartment, told them to take care of the dogs and cats, gave them the pin #s to my two bank accounts, and keys to my car.

Then I went to the hospital and began the procedure that would put me to death.  There were some nurses and two doctors present.  The doctors examined me and instructed the nurses to start IVs.  I panicked and bargained for one more day because I needed to spend more time with my son, but they said it was too late.  The doctor had already started the IV that would sedate me.

I was making arrangements with a pastor and funeral director at the same time that I was hooked up to the IV.  The doctor said I had to hurry, and then I was led to a coffin and was assured I would die in my sleep.  I told the pastor not to read from the bible, just play music and be silent. 

I awakened just as I was led to the coffin and gazed down into it’s wooden frame. I know we all fear death, and I was brought to  the  precipice of that fear in this dream.