Today is AIDS day.  It is also the beginning of the end of a decade.  It is hard to fathom both.  AIDS still has no cure, and another decade has passed. 

In my own life, I ponder what my purpose is at this point.  I write, read, listen to the news, enjoy visits from my son, but something seems to be missing.  I think of the war in Afghanistan, the political conflict between Pakistan and India partly fueling it.  Iran will embrace any country that will side with them against the U.S.

That is when I realized I am questioning my life in America.  I don’t feel very American.  This past Thanksgiving my son and I decided not to celebrate in the usual, American way.  Instead, we went to the movies on that day, and celebrated Unthanksgiving on “Black Friday” We ate lobsters, pan-seared scallops, broccoli rabe, and chocholate cake.

Black Friday also has me puzzled.  To me it seems like a day when Americans show the worst traits of humanity, greed being number one.  Rudeness abounds on Black Friday.  I’m reluctant to put up Christmas lights, though I know I will feel like it one of these days in December.  Maybe when it first snows.

 Maybe I just need to accept that I am a rather unamerican American.  Maybe I will just have to find new ways to deal with this time of year.  Following the herd is an impossibility.  I will have to create my own traditions and rituals for this time of year.  Traveling to Tahiti, and staying there until April sounds like a good ritual with which to begin.